Exploring the implications of adopting additional sibling belonging to the same birth family
When exploring the implications of adoption on family life, one topic that causes great controversy is the implications of adopting additional siblings belonging to the same birth family. There are lots of questions and unknowns, and it can be overwhelming to potential adoptive families to know the right way to turn. Research shows that 43% of children who wait the longest to be placed are actually those part of a sibling group. This implies naturally that more often than not; families are looking to only adopt one child. There is a distinct lack of educational research into the familial effects of adopting multiple birth siblings, compared to the stack of research exploring the effect on non-birth siblings of adoptive families. This poses the question of, why?
Logically, it may be due to the fact that sibling groups in general are harder to place, and in many instances globally, do end up being separated. Less birth sibling adoptions, means less research and less focus. Due to it being harder to place birth siblings, we can see a notable domino effect in the content posted by adoption agencies regarding this topic. Overall, the content published includes a weight in favour of the positive stories and connotations of birth sibling adoption. The stories seemingly focus on the special bond of birth siblings that shouldn’t be broken by adoption, the positives of settling in with birth siblings and the shared understanding that the birth siblings seem to have of their situation and life before being adopted.
Whilst these positive stories are incredible, and we are over the moon to see some of the more joyful impacts of multi-birth sibling adoption, we want to do more exploring on the topic.
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It’s undeniable that birth siblings have a unique bond, and many believe that maintaining this important bond is essential to positive development. Unfortunately, birth children placed for adoption separately from brothers and sisters may have little or no further direct contact with their siblings and, unless placed together, they cease to have a relationship with each other.
There is much research that shows having a relationship with brothers and sisters can support mental health, emotional wellbeing, and positively impact social skills. With this being said, much research into the impact of birth siblings being raised together has been conducted with non-adoptive families, and follows birth siblings brought up in a different dynamic to adoptive families. If we take a closer look at adoption specifically, a 2017 UK study researched the influence of adoption on sibling relationships across 374 children across 96 adoptive families. Findings show that most children placed for adoption together with a birth sibling carried a shared history of maltreatment. Many had complex, often conflictual relationships. Yet, having the birth siblings in the adoptive home in many cases provided support and comfort for children. In the case of the birth siblings who were separated and desired contact, even with the adoptive parents support, this commitment was not always championed due to social work intervention. This finding has implications for improving social work practice in adoption to help understand sibling dynamics in adoptive families. A study of adults who had been brought up in care in the US found that those with greater access to their siblings and stronger relationships with them, reported ‘higher levels of support, self-esteem, and income, as well as stronger sibling relationships than those who did not’.
Another study found that positive effects of sibling relationships are equally or more prevalent in instances where adopted children were raised in families with multiple adopted children or adopted and biological children. Interestingly, this research found that there are certain relationships that are even stronger than usual in a family with adopted children. The researchers observed that adopted children were even more likely to want to get married and have children of their own when they reached adult age. This is potentially a result of the strong sibling and parent bonds when they were young, allowing them to grow and discover their identities and have confidence in themselves.
Adoptive parents will never truly know what happened to their child prior to their adoption. Except their birth siblings will. This could in theory help your children release their emotions and deal with their past trauma, or even help with future questions they may have about their birth family. At the start, it may just be as simple as having a familiar face to help them settle into their new home and environment. Sharing a sense of identity may help adoptive birth siblings with a sense of belonging whilst offering reassurance. It’s recognised that children who grow up separately from their birth siblings and who lack contact with or knowledge about them, risk being deprived of support afforded by the sibling relationship in adult life.
Not to mention from a logistical point of view, if you’re a family wanting more than one child, adopting birth siblings at once means just one application. In some instances it can save time and resources, allowing parents to create a family unit quickly, which means more energy can be put into building a family at once, rather than in stages.
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With all these points being raised, it’s important to note that this is just one potential side of the impact. There’s also potential for the siblings to share trauma, and act as reminders to one another of a difficult time. With shared identity may come an increased lack of ‘fitting in’ and isolation, as siblings may become a unit against their new environment.
It’s incredibly important not to underestimate the impact of multiple birth siblings adoption on the adoptive parents too. It’s commonly recognised that a healthy family home life contributes to overall positive outcomes during adolescent growth. Raising multiple birth siblings because a feeling of duty is shared, rather than the capabilities to provide a healthy home is detrimental. Despite research being limited in this area, we found one study that showed in multi-sibling adoptions conducted at different times, parents explained how the unpredictable nature of adoption presented unprecedented challenges to introducing a second child to the family.
We must acknowledge that adoptive families who take on the challenge of sibling placements are giving their children the benefit of maintaining family ties, but that they do so with a degree of risk. To make birth sibling adoptions work, careful assessment and specialist adoption support is necessary. This means comprehensive assessments prior to placement. Decisions to keep brothers and sisters together should not simply be based on their blood bond, but on their ability to relate, play, grow and thrive together.
The research shows that there are definite positives amongst a complicated set of challenges associated with adopting birth siblings. Every single situation is incredibly different, and complex. With online resources, you’ll find many articles posted by adoption agencies detailing the ‘pros and cons of adopting birth siblings’, yet it’s very surface level and generic.
Adopting birth siblings doesn’t always mean you’re adopting multiple children at once. It’s common that after the adoption of one child (or more), another child (or more) may be born to the same birth family, and you are then asked to adopt. In this instance, despite your children having the same birth family, they will have been raised in potentially very different circumstances. If your adopted child or children have settled in, it’s important to ask the question of whether adding another child could cause unrest by adding another birth sibling to your family. It’s common in these situations to feel a sense of duty.
It this resonates with your specific situation specifically, try asking yourself these important questions:
Is your household financially capable of adding another child to your family?
Have you asked for a detailed history of the adoptive siblings? If you already have one birth sibling, and another has been born, they may have an incredibly different experience to your first adopted child.
Does your child understand what having a birth sibling means?
Would it cause disruption to your other children if you have any?
What are your honest reasonings for wanting to adopt birth siblings?
Do you have access to a good therapist for your children to help deal with adjustment, attachment or mental health issues?
What is the authority you’re adopting your child in like? Are they supportive? Are they good at providing detailed information about the birth family? Do you feel like your social worker appointed will be honest and diligent?
Many failures in the adoptive system stem from lack of oversight from governing authorities, adoptive agencies and social workers. It acts as a domino effect. Our best advice is to focus on your own personal reason, your own family dynamic and know that whatever decision you make is the best for you and your children. Try not to get too buried under the sheer volume of stories and research available and know that your situation is entirely unique and what’s right for you, may not be right for another family.
Please visit our Walk in the Light piece where we follow the story of Fernando and Lela, a couple who adopted one of three siblings (not due to their own choice), and explore the implications of how they feel this has affected their son.
To understand both sides of the coin, visit our Help me Face the Dark piece. This segment shares the incredible story of Grant and Julia, a couple who have been on a 25-year long rollercoaster. They adopted two children, Sophie and Leo, followed by an additional birth sibling years later, Greg. Join us as we talk about their experience and the impact that this multi-sibling adoption has had on their family unit.